Our work has been seen in CNET, BBC World. Time.
Fast Company. Glamour. New York Observer. HLNTV. Bustle.
BuzzFeed. Cracked. Playboy. Business Insider.
Are you a younger man wanting to date an older woman? Or are you perhaps already dating an older woman? If so, here are some tips for you!
Yes, she probably has lots of sage advice for you about life. More life experience in general. She’s also picked up a few bad habits, as we all do, and sees life through her lens. Meaning, she’s not always sage.
Point being, she can give you some advice, up to a point. And she probably has interesting stories and a sense of maturity that’s real sexy.
However, she’s not your mother. She won’t be able to make your decisions for you. Nor will she do your dishes, or your laundry, unless you’re cleaning the floors and polishing the windows in return.
In short, even if she’s older she’s your date, not your mom. She doesn’t want to feel like she has to mother you—it’ll be off-putting.
Chances are that if she’s older than you, she has some insecurities about her body in comparison to women your age. Not that she isn’t proud of her body, but let’s face it—as we age we get wrinkles no matter how fit we are and how well we eat. So let her know you find her attractive at any chance given.
Hint: women really like to hear that what they just did to you in the bedroom was great, too. In general, the more you praise what you like, the more they’ll do it. And that could be anything—not just in the bedroom.
If a woman is at a stage where she’s built a life for herself—a career, a home, a social circle, and so forth, she’s unlikely to want to compromise it. That’s not to say she won’t change her habits, or whatever it may be, because of you, but she’s worked hard to get to where she is. So appreciate that there will be boundaries. When you’re 22 and don’t have responsibilities, or haven’t built up a life, it can be a lot easier to decide to backpack around Thailand next month. At 40 that’s a tad harder, if you aren’t a digital nomad already. Change can be good, but you also have to appreciate the work that’s gone into taking somewhere to where they are today.
A woman who has reached a certain age doesn’t take shit anymore. She will want to see that you are respectful, show up more or less on time, know how to pull out a chair, and can treat waiters with respect. Being flaky and rude is no longer “cool.”
Yes, you want to date her, but until she’s become an important person in your life, she doesn’t come first. She’s part of your priorities, not the only priority. If you are constantly texting her, constantly pushing her for the next date, and constantly showing that you’d be miserable without her, she’ll find you needy. You don’t need her, you want her. She’ll complement your life, not run it.
If you don’t find your own life all that interesting right now, change it. Fill your diary with things that excite you.
Show you’re kind, respectful and compassionate. This, of course, means you need to think about other people. Put yourself in their shoes.
This could mean being nice to the homeless guy, but it also means being nice at home. If your date has had a long day at work, pour her a cup of tea, or make her a hot bath with bath salts and all. Show you care enough to consider how she feels.
Express your feelings while also taking responsible for being the one having them. She’s not the one forcing you to have those feelings And when arguing, try to remove the blame, anger and so forth and show what’s hiding underneath.
Gary Chapman’s classic “The Five Love Languages” is a brilliant book if you want to impress a woman with your relationship skills. Understanding how she needs to be loved and how you need to be loved is a wonderful way of showing you know how to have a great relationship.
Ask her questions about her life. Remember the answers. Take an interest. When you buy her a gift, buy something she’d like, not something you’d like.